Dedication:
To my father, Bakhit Shenoudy Abdel-Malak (1939-2025)
To Julie Kertesz (1934-2025), dear friend, mentor and grandmother from another
To Heather Ahlbin, my Bank of America mentor and surviving granddaughter of Toastmasters Past International President, Bob Blakeley (1922-2017)
The Shape of Loss
What is the shape of loss?
Is it the hole you in your heart
Left by the loss of a loved one
Felt fearsomely with the
Stop start as you reach
For the phone to share
Something new?
What is the shape of loss?
Is it the tears trickling,
Unbidden, while gently placing his jacket
In the charity bag
Perhaps to wrap another
In it’s warmth
Another who’ll never know
‘Twas worn by him,
by your side,
Laughing in the rain?
What is the shape of loss?
Is it the insights
Of an unstoppable elder mentor
A grandmother from another
Her insights from a question,
Always a question,
Samir, what if…?
Making you grow
In ways you didn’t know
You could
Tools given to triumph
What is the shape of loss?
Is it falling into patterns of familiarity
Dancing in spreadsheets
To a tune
No longer sung
To a 9-5 tempo,
A chorus 25 years in the making
A song suddenly
…stopped
What is the shape of loss?
Is it a new widow
shrunken & shrivelled
From ten years poured into him
Given freely
For ten years more
With her one true
What is the shape of loss?
Is it it wisdom
Given in grieving
provision provided
Planned & planted
Planted in papers & pages
Piles & piles of dusty papers
Provision
Provided
What is the shape of loss?
Is it coffee by the empty chair
On the balcony
Begonias blooming
sun rising and shining
Brightening her smile
Grieving given over to growing
Healing into a new life gained
What is the shape of loss?
Is it the promise to visit the village
Where your father picked fava beans
from fields
Foraging on his way to school
The village where he climbed the date trees
For a taste of sweetness
A promise planned
To visit the village
For his children & his
Grandchildren
What is the shape of loss?
Is it the shackles of stress
shattered
Pounding Pressure
paused
Focus
freed
Attention reducing tension
Forward now,
Crafting constellations of connections
Forging fathoms of further fellowship
with family and friends,
Formerly Forgotten,
found
What is the shape of loss?
You choose,
Drawing closer to those near & dear
Who’re still here
Your health? To stay the course
for them
Preparing for provision
Seeking silver ‘round the storm cloud
For me, the shape I choose,
The shape of loss,
Is gain.
© 2026 Samir Malak
Imagine Anew 